Thursday, May 15, 2008

This Day Would Be Even Better if We Got To Take Home A Baby

I woke up at 4 AM this morning 42 miles from home in extreme pain.
The fact that “Pain is information” (accd to my friend Vivian) and that this particular pain meant that Spanky was closer to being an outside baby than an inside baby did not make the pain any more bearable. Though it did make it way exciting.

SO – I did what any woman in labor would do.
I called my friend Dana and asked her to find a PA to drive me back to LA.
She packed me up while I moaned and generally scared the crap out of her.
(Note to LA moms to be, producers make killer birth organizers.)

By 5:40 I was on the road with Rico – whom I’d never met before but who turned out to be delightful.
In the car, I started getting contractions (prior to that the pain had been constant).
By the time we got to my house, the contractions were a minute and a half long and 5 minutes apart.
Textbook, right?
Seamus and I load into the car with a go bag and we are off to Cedars Sinai.

We find rock star parking by the maternity elevator and check ourselves in (see photos for level of enthusiasm and expectation).


I get hooked up to a fetal monitor and something that measures contractions.
Because I had been in moderate pain for most of the day before, I expected to find out I was 3 cm dilated and be off and running.

We settled in for the long haul & I got onto the hospital’s WiFi to check out casting reels figuring I’m hours away from maternity (and maternity leave).
The last two photos are of me cracking up at one of the casting reels – until a contraction comes along.


Unfortunately, after another half an hour it becomes apparent that the contractions are now further paced apart and that reclining makes them feel far less intense.
I am dilated – but barely.

That's where this story fizzles out.
I get sent home to relax for the day.
I'm now in bed, typing, hoping for the contractions to return at full force.

But at least I got the chance to put together this email so I’ve got everyone’s addresses for the real deal.

If false labors can have credits, special thanks are due to Dana for being a superstar, even at 4 AM, to Roger for being on the ball at the crack of dawn, to Rico for driving me swiftly, safely and keeping me distracted, and Ron and Neil for getting Rico back to set without missing a beat!